New phone

So, I got this new phone, and I really like it. I played with Aaron's for a little bit, but didn't really get to experience it in the same way, ya know. The only thing it doesn't do, that my old phpne used to, is capitalize words like 'I' and it doesn't automatically add the apostrophies in words like 'doesn't'. It's a little bit annoying, but I'll get used to it eventually.

In other news, Aaron and I are going to try and take the Preparing for Marriage class this September. It's super exciting, but it really hinges on whether I can get Sundays off for a few months, and whether or not he will be on tour. Stuff with the band has been looking good, and that means tours are to come, but also it may take time out of the class. All we can do at this point is wait and be praying about it. I'm mostly happy we've finally gotten to a point where we are seriously considering marriage, because, heaven knows I've been waiting for that for... probably, oh I dunno, ever.

I'm also looking forward to spending some time with Lindsay and Leah on Thursday. We are having dinner to catch up, since we haven't seen each other in a long time. I'm hoping it will go well. I haven't talked to Lindsay for quite a long time, either, seeing her will be very nice.

Anyway, maybe I should, I dunno, actually work now... The beauty of working at a call center is that five minutes between calls happens and it gives me time to do whatever, however, that same whatever is really distracting.

Have a good day!!!!

Just for fun...

Invisible Girl introduced me to a little game-- here are the instructions:

1) Go to wikipedia and click on random article. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2) Go to quotationspage.com and hit random quote. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3) Go to flickr.com and click on “explore the last seven days” Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4) Use photoshop or similar (picnik.com is a free online photo editor) to put it all together.




Introducing....

Haha! The picture I found (following the rules, of course) worked so perfectly with the quote!

Make one yourself, if you'd like. It was quite fun. (I used the picnik.com website, because I don't have photoshop!)

Enjoy!

Been a long while

  It's been a long time since I've written, but I suppose that's normal. As I say in every return blog, I'm not good at keeping this thing up. Oh well, any way, here goes...

  Things have been remarkably normal for me in the last three months. Well, I suppose that's not true at all. I've broken up with my boyfriend, gone through the awkward stage of not dating, but still desperately wanting to be friends with one another, and then back to being completely comfortable around each other. I've had a few people ask, those who have seen us together, whether or not we're dating again. I've had to, slightly reluctantly, tell them no. I'd love to say yes, yes we are, but even I know that it's not going to work that way. I can't let it. I'm at a point now were it's all or nothing. Either he proposes, or we just won't be together.  I know that sounds extreme, but honestly, it's just realistic.  We dated for over 5 years, and one of the multitude of reasons we broke up was because he wasn't sure when he wanted to get married. We both, of course, felt it didn't make much sense to be in a long term relationship with no intention of marriage, at least not anytime soon. And, I still don't think it would make any more sense to resume dating, leaving us right back where we started from.
 
  I struggled with us being apart for a short time. It's been easier to handle because we made a commitment to stay friends. He was my best friend then, and he still is now, not holding his hand doesn't change that. I am surprised, in fact, at how much time we have spent together since we broke up. There was a period of about 3 or 4 weeks where he was over nearly every night. I've never spent that much time with him, not even when we first started dating. I do realize, however, that him no longer working a typical job and having a lot more time on his hands played into that a lot, but, what's more important, and more surprising, is that he chose to spend that time with me. Not to say that he would prefer to be doing something else, but rather, that he spends quite a good deal of time on his music. Totally understandable considering writing for and performing with 7 Horns and recording and mixing other bands is his intended career for now and the future. It's just that he was over more often than I thought he would be, and I'm very glad for it.

  I've also got school starting in a couple months. I have some last minute financial aid stuff to take care of, but assuming it's not going to cost me a fortune, I should be starting in late March. I've been struggling a little more lately with whether or not to even go to school for Early Childhood Education, or to just go out, get a CPR certification and start working at a day care. I know, that's coming slightly full circle, since looking for a daycare job is what spurred the idea of the ECE degree, but I feel as though either would be a path I would love to go down. I just now have to decide if I want a degree, and if I really want to pay for that degree, or if I would prefer to walk from my own job now directly to working with children. It's hard for me to decide, mostly because of the benefits I do receive now, and the potential of losing those benefits. But, I do know that I'm being called to work with kids, and being at my current job is keeping me from that. I have thought of doing both, sort of. Something like waking up early and volunteering somewhere to help out with childcare. I just don't know where, close to work, that I could do that. I'll have to look into that and let you know if I find anything.

  I'd best be off to bed, I have to work in the morning. Goodnight. Sweet dreams!

 

 

Blogging time again!?

I always, somehow, manage to feel like blogging when I'm over here, in Eastern Washington, with my family. Dunno why that is. Hm.

So, today is the 4th birthday of my youngest niece, Ivy. It's a beautiful day outside, crisp and bright, the best of fall mornings. I got to see the smile on the girls faces this morning when they saw their aunties and daddy made the trip over to see them. I've got Paul Keyes piano pieces playing, and a cup of coffee steaming at my side. It really couldn't get much better than this. Calm, quiet, beautiful, and really displaying God's glory. What an amazing world He created.

I'm excited to be here today, also, because it means my dad and I can sit down and complete my FAFSA so I can start looking for scholarships and grants for school. I can't begin to explain how excited I am to be going back to school. I've been wanting to for a long time, but I never really knew what I wanted to go for. So I didn't. But I had a moment a few weeks back and decided to look into working at a daycare, and was lead right into the Early Childhood Education (ECE) program. I'm thinking about going to Shoreline CC to get an AA transfer degree and then finishing at a University for my BA in ECE. I am frightened about costs, but so excited to get started. Hopefully, I will be able to get Grants or Scholarships that will allow me to go at little to no cost. Having a plan for what I want to do with my life feels really good. I don't feel like I'm waking up for work every morning and not going any where. My only wish now is that I could start taking classes sooner, and that I could go for free. Wouldn't that be nice.

In other news, Aaron and I are no longer dating. It's weird to be apart from him, but somehow also completely normal feeling. We've always been really close friends, and just because we're not dating anymore doesn't mean that's changing. We're still best friends, and hopeful that the relationship will blossom into something better, maybe even a blessed and Godly marriage. Only time will tell.

Seattle's Best and this great world.

Sitting here, at 7:54am, I am reminded why I love being up so early, there's nothing nice than taking your time when everyone else is rushing around. Not to mention a 16oz coffee is delicious when you know you're going to be tired in t-minus 2 seconds! I normally hit up the Starbucks that's right by my bus stop, but today I decoded to just head over to work and worry about coffee after I'd confirmed my work schedule for the day. In the end, I believe this truly benefited me. For two reasons, one, I really dislike Starbucks coffee, and second, o got a sweet seat right by the door, and being that this is Seattle and I'm in a coffee shop, no ones gonna ask questions about me sitting around for two hours, doing nothing but farting around on my iPod and reading. I guess that second reason was more a benefit of being in Seattle, rather than Seattle's Best, but, whatever. Here I am, content, and only a little bit cold. :)

Weather here is really starting to look like fall. Rain, clouds, cool winds, the works. Soon the leaves will start to change color and fall off the trees, but that's my favorite. There's something so cool about red, orange and yellow leaves reflecting the sunrise and sunset. It's just so pretty. Of course, every season is pretty, really. The calmness of the snow during the winter, the preciousness of new buds and blossoms in the spring, and the warmth and blue skies of the summer. This world is truly amazing, and beautiful no matter what time of year it is. Some how even downtown, in this gray and concrete jungle, there is beauty. Like the way the sky is reflected in the windows of the buildings, and the sparkling of the lights at night, and well, Seattle is blessed with the beautiful Puget Sound so close by. The sailboats on the water are Jessica and I's favorite sight on the way home from work. There's something so relaxing about seeing the sailboats floating casually in the water. We are definitely blessed with such an amazing world.

Anyway, my time is running short, so I should go. I know I did a bad job of keeping up with BEDA, but I really will try to blog more. I definitely love doing it, even if I don't have much to say. So tata for now!


Sexy: Good coffee and a delicious bagel for breakfast!
Unsexy: The fact that my iPod is dying right now. :(

Movies/TV I've watched today: Nothing yet, but I fully intend on goin home and watching Lie To Me, or Angel/Buffy.

Nail color: Still that clear coat, but my nails are mostly clean now, so that's good. :)

BEDA Fail

So, as per usual, the BEDA thing failed. Being that today is the 26th of August and my last post was made on the 5th. Wow, at least I made it a full business week. Ha.

Any way, I'm sitting here, in the main hall at the Waterville Fair Grounds, a little bored, a little relaxed, and mostly tired. I won't for a minute complain about being here, because I'm going to be in Eastern Washington for a full week, and I can't begin to explain how happy that makes me.

Jessica and I had originally planned to spend a week in Montana with her family, but because of unfortunate circumstances she wasn't able to get the time off. So, with all my Vacation approved (aside from 2 days), and nothing to do, I decided to come spend the week at my Dad's. The longest I've had the chance to stay with him since 2008 was a couple, maybe three, days. So having a whole week to really get comfortable and enjoy my time more thoroughly, is priceless. So, here I am. Sitting at a table with mix boards, cables and a laptop, blogging. Because I can. Yay!

I was telling my oldest sister just last night, that it seems interesting that we do in our real lives what we forget to do in our spiritual lives. Whenever things are hard, or painful, we come running home to our father. I really like the parallel that's there. I've been struggling with one thing or another for the past month or two, and I kept thinking that I wanted to get away from it all, turn off my phone and go to my dad's. Run away from it all. And that's exactly what I need to do, except instead of running to Eastern Washington, I need to be running to Jesus. It's really a lot easier, though it's something I struggle with. Not that I mean to imply I shouldn't take the time to get away from the city and see my family, that, I think, is extremely important for me. Rather I mean to say, it takes no effort at all to bow my head and say a prayer.


Any way, sorry I failed BEDA, but hopefully I'll be moved to blog more anyway...

Oh, and update on the kitten. She has an owner, and by the end of the 32 some hours we had her, I was so ready to let her go. The longer she was there the more depressed and aggressive our cats became. Plus, I missed cuddling with my Alley Cat! So, moral of the story, no more kittens any time soon.




Sexy: The beautifully humidity free heat I'm experincing right now... oh E. Wa. how I love thee.
Unsexy: How much my jaw hurts from chewing this gum.... I should really just spit it out already. :P
Movies/TV watched today: Surprisingly, absolutely none, and that feels good.

Nail Color: Chipped and peeling, dirt showing clear coat. Sweet.

08/05/10

Once again I have to start a blog with what happened last night. So Aaron came over and watched a PBS special with me. Fun, yes. But the best part didn't happen until after he left. So I gave him a hug and a kiss and said goodnight, shut the door and went about my business. About 5 minutes later I heard a knock at the door. With no idea who it could be I checked the peep hole and saw Aaron standing there. I couldn't help wondering what he had forgotten, but when I opened the door this is what I saw...

Well, she was in the arms of an adorable boy, who looked very excited to have found something he knew I would love. :) We don't know if she has an owner or not, but we let the manager of our complex know that we found her, and we're just waiting anxiously to see if she will be claimed. Part of me wants her to have an owner, and another part wants her to be a stray. She gets along okay with the other cats... well, she and Alley are okay, Jude seems to kind of hate her. He pretty much hisses at her, and she's hissed at him and Alley a couple times, but it's so far just been a matter of telling both animals that it's not okay to be mean. I feel like I have a child and now, after having a second child, my oldest is having the older sibling jealousy issues. I feel like I need to do mommy and kitty date night so that Alley and Jude don't feel like we're ignoring them, or replacing them.

We're not sure if the reason Jude is having issues is because he was in a hoarder's home before we adopted him. Maybe he gets a bit defensive because he used to be surrounded by too many other cats. Who knows, if the new kitten doesn't have an owner, hopefully Jude will warm up to her. I think it's really only a matter of time. I hope so.

We geeked out and named her Cordi (Cordelia), mostly because we've been watching so much Buffy, and also because she seemed like she might be high maintenance and prissy. Ha.

Any way, today was normal, work, home, dinner, Buffy. The usual. I'm excited to see Aaron again, for the third night in a row, but things are calm.

Any way, back to an episode of Buffy I've already seen cause Jessica is still catching up. Good thing she'll be watching more tomorrow, cause then she'll catch up to me, and probably pass me up, and then have to re-watch episodes too! Ha!

See you tomorrow!
 

08/04/10

I definitely did not get the chance to upload my blog yesterday, and it didn't save because I started writing it on my phone.  So, since the best part of the day actually occurred after midnight, I'll just tell you all of what happened today...

A few hours later...

I was going to write today's blog talking about everything that is not happening in my day today. But I just read a Nerdfighter's Secret and it really upset me the way that people were responding to it. This girl is spilling her heart out, telling the world that she feels alone and there are still people commenting on how she is going to be judged if she continues to believe what she believes. Yes, I realize that people are bound to judge you no matter what, but what upset me the most is that Nerdfighters are supposed to be accepting and loving of one another, but they are treating her poorly. I've always had the feeling that Nerdfighteria is about accepting people as they are, even when it seems no one else will. And I have always received this same message from those who are at the head of Nerdfighteria, John and Hank Green, especially. Seeing things come to pass like Esther day, and Esther just wanting everyone to show love to their friends and family, makes me think that whoever this girl has encountered doesn't understand what being a Nerdfighter is really about.

I feel that, personally, I can be comfortable being part of the Nerdfighter community because it seems to promote love in a similar way to how Christ showed love when he was on earth. That is, by accepting and caring about everyone regardless of status, or money, or relationships. But seeing this girl who seemingly felt the same way, and thought that she was understood and no longer judged, be let down was really upsetting. I'm not going to say that because of this I am no longer going to consider myself a Nerdfighter, or that I'm going to stop watching the videos uploaded by those who call themselves Nerdfighters, but I just feel disappointed.

However, at the same time it comforts me by reminding me that Christ's love is better than this. He does not decided who he loves based on what they do or who the world believes them to be. He loves everyone unconditionally. So, though Satan may be working against this girl by breaking down what she loved and felt comforted by, I see it as an opportunity to remind her of God's grace and love. Which, as I hope she can see, is much more important.

08/02/10

So, today is day 2 of BEDA and I'm already at a loss of what to write about. Great.

I'd tell you about my day, but other than the fact that I paid $1.69 for a 380 cal coffee from 7/11, ate veggie chips with creamy ranch for lunch and took a walk after work to look at pretty dresses through the window of Luly Lang, it was kind of dull. I guess, walking up and down 4 flights of stairs was out of the ordinary, and an example of the funny ways my company motivates it's employees to be active, but it took such a short time it's barely worth mentioning. Except, well, I will.

We have these events twice a year called winter fest and summer fest, which include all sorts of activities. Just two or three weeks ago we had a Wii sports tournament (which I didn't win, boo), and decorated foam board surfboards (which I also didn't win, double boo) and it seems that as of late our management has been also pushing us to be more active, in really sneaky ways. Well, sneaky sounds like it's something bad, it's not. For example, we are doing "Beach Blanket Bingo" right now, which includes activities like the one mentioned above, walking up and down 4 flights of stairs. As well as walking 10 laps around the floor (which takes about 2 minutes per lap if your meandering), and taking one full lap around the building outside. It's a fun way to get us excited about exercise, I guess. I mean, I definitely don't hate that they're doing it, because, for one, it gives me an extra little break off the phones, plus, I guess I kind of enjoy it, but, I dunno, it's kind of weird. Ha.

Um, yeah....

So, after seeing Bree's, I signed up at listography.com. It's a pretty basic website, and could be done through a regular blog like this, but I kinda like that I can have a separate place specifically for lists. I've never been much of a list writer myself, mostly because I can't think of things "To Do" or I'm sitting at my desk at work trying to write a grocery list. Or, really because I always leave the list somewhere and when I actually need it I can't find it, or  possibly never needed it in the first place. But, I like that my list can be about anything. I can take a moment at the end of the day to write a list of all the things that made my day good, or bad, or better. It somehow seems relaxing. So go check out my listography. Maybe start your own, whatevs.

I'm gonna go eat now, because it's 10:30pm, I haven't eaten dinner and I need to be in bed soon.

Night all, see ya tomorrow! :)

BEDA Day 1

 Hello all! Today is day one of BEDA, Blog Every Day in August, and we're going to do a little experiment. We're going to see if I can actually complete a blog for all 31 days of the month... So here goes:

Sundays are usually lazy days for me. Wake up, go to church, eat lunch with Aaron and then do whatever, relaxing. Today has not let me down. So far, I've watched 5 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and munched on snacks. The biggest benefit, though, is cuddling with my two favorite felines, Alley Cat and Hey, Jude. Oh, don't worry we call them simply Alley and Jude. It's probably a good thing we got Jude after Alley or they would have been named Hey, Jude and Abbey Road. It's not like either of us are huge Beatles fans. We just like the name Jude, I guess. And, trust me it's definitely better than what name he could have ended up with. Jess was thinking something Spanish, like Rodrigo, or Francesco. I'm glad he got Jude.

I have been a little concerned about Alley, though. She started having weird eye goo, and then wouldn't open her left eye at all the other day. Then yesterday she was opening it about halfway and now today she seems to be fine. I'm glad, I wasn't looking forward to go to, or paying for the vet.

-Just to interject here, someone in my apartment complex is barbecuing and it smells delicious!-

So, I've had this YouTube account for probably a year now and haven't actually posted anything on it yet. But since my roommate started watching more YouTube videos we've come up with this idea for a channel. I'm not gonna get into exactly what it's about right now, but be looking forward to details. ;)

Meanwhile, I've got some ideas going for my personal channel and I'm pretty excited to see them come to light.

Oh and I'm working on some outlining for my NaNoWriMo story for this year. Not sure how it's all going to come together, but I'm hoping that my amateur ramblings can make some sort of interesting story.

Any way, that's all for today, but I'll see ya'll tomorrow!




Sexy: David Boreanaz as Angel
Unsexy: The outfit I'm wearing. Aside for the awesome Charlie McDonnell "You need to be able to love yourself" t-shirt, I look a mess! :P
Movies/TV I've watched today: Um, Buffy, but yeah you know that. :)

Nail Color: Still the clear base coat. Still haven't gone back to the color polish.

Cha cha cha changes....

It's weird to me that to get inspiration to write again, I have to look back on old posts. Ha.

The cruise was awesome, months ago, but awesome. Rhea did not, in fact, end up going with me. She wanted to, but she had school and work to deal with, and the timing just wasn't right. However, I got the immense privilege of taking my younger sister with me. Now, I love spending time with my family, it's become one of my favorite things to do, and as I get older I realize more and more how much I love and care about them. But this trip was special. My little sister had never been to California, never out of Washington state, never on an airplane, and never out of the country. We went to Mexico, took two flights stopping in Salt Lake City and then on to LA where we embarked on the Sapphire Princess headed for Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan, and Cabo San Lucas. And she got to do all this, with me. I cannot begin to describe how cool it was to see her face when we were thousands of feet above the earth on her very first flight. Priceless.

Since then, things have really gone up and down. Work was becoming tedious and annoying, and I considered looking for a new job, nearly daily. For a while, I was really struggling with relationship issues with Aaron (so what else is new), and have finally come to a place where I can be at peace in our relationship as it currently stands. I find myself, often, in the wrong frame of mind, thinking of Aaron as if he's already my husband, and it was taking a remarkably difficult tole on my life.  I found myself expecting him to act as a husband, and when I realized that he was not in fact so, I began slipping into a depression because he didn't want to marry me now. It wasn't long before we found ourselves on the verge of, what would have been, a really horrible break up. Thank the Lord that we were able to talk it out and He's been working in my life to show me that it is important to respect Aaron and where he's at in his life. Because, I honestly feel that if I can't learn to respect him now, before we're married, or even engaged, I'm going to have a really hard time doing so once we are.

A big reason Aaron and I seem to be doing so well, as of late, can be directly contributed to our participation in a Community Group. Mars Hill has been a really great place for us to go and learn about Christ on Sunday, but I understand now why they constantly encourage the church body to attend a CG.  Not only have I met some really amazing people, but I've been provided with people who are great examples in my life. I adore the CG leader, Scott, his wife, Atalie, and their two 10 month old children, Solomon and Ivy. They have been so sweet and caring since Aaron and I walked in the door the first day, and their children are adorable and remarkably well behaved (though Scott and Atalie still feel they can be a bit of a distraction, partially true, they make me smile every time I see them). And the encouragement I have received from other members of our CG, whether they realize they have been an encouragement or not, have been much needed and much appreciated.

I've found myself in a place now, where I can see the challenges in my life and am better prepared to face them head on. In the past, I was always a "dreamer", trying to pretend as if my life was better than what it was, instead of seeing the beauty that already existed around me. My relationship with Aaron is better than a lot of other relationships, and the fact that I have him at all is such an enormous blessing in and of itself. I don't deserve him, not at all. But then, I don't deserve Christ's love either, but that I receive unconditionally. Perfect love.

Work has been much better, I've been working a lot on my temper and patience, and it's been beneficial not only with friends and family, but also with work. I've found myself getting less annoyed and angry with callers or co workers. I can't say I'm perfect, and that I don't get frustrated on occasion, but the goal is to be as kind to those people as I can.








Sexy: How much I am loved by, and can love those people around me. :)
Unsexy: How long it's been since I blogged last... yeah, sorry about that.
Movies/TV Shows I've watched today: Dear Zachary, Letters to a Son About His Father, Three Blind Mice, and am just starting Jesus Camp (I've heard things about this documentary and am interested to experience it for myself, maybe I'll blog about it later.)

Nail Color: Clear base coat, my nails are almost healed from the craziness I put them through, I'm playing it safe for a little while. :)

New blogs I'm following: breethescarybear and nadiaesra

Home and all that...

Thank the Lord for "Fridays", I honestly don't know what I would do without them! I'm on my way home right now, after what I felt was a really long week. Not because I worked an extra long week, on the contrary I worked less this week than normal. It's just time extending itself to feel longer.

Things with Aaron have taken a turn for the better. He's still not going on the cruise with me, but it'll be okay. I'm planning on taking my friend Rhea, and that will be amazing! She's a really fun girl and we'll have tons of fun together. I was bummed for a little while about Aaron not coming with me, but we had a long talk the other night and we've decided its probably better that he doesn't, anyway. Regardless, he's got an album due that next week, first album with Century Media, so that's a pretty big deal! We also had a discussion about our relationship in general. I went into the conversation fearing I'd come out of it single and unhappy. Instead I came out with a new outlook on the our relationship, and a plan to improve it.

I've been mentioning to Aaron for a while that I wanted to join a community group through Mars Hill, and that I also wanted to do a one on one Bible study with him, but nothing really came of it. He brought that up while we were talking, and I'm hoping that means we'll be able to commit to actually doing it. I suppose we'll see, yeah?



Sexy: Chameleon Circuit and DFTBA Records
Unsexy: Whoever it is on this bus that smells like perfume and pot! Boo!

Nail color: OPI-"Its all up to blue"

Suddenly the urge to blog rises in me, so what do I do? Well, sit down and write, of course. But, what do I say? Uh, well, I could talk about... well no one cares about that. OH! How about... well, no, that's kind of lame too. Hm. I guess nothing?

Blogging has forever been something I've wanted to do. Take hold of the reins and be witty and cute. But I find that reading blogs is actually more fun. Mostly because they have nothing to do with my boring life. I mean, does that ever happen to you? You read someone else's blog and you think, 'oh man this stuff is great, I wanna start my own', then you sit down in front of the computer and sit there staring at the flashing cursor, because everything you intended to write now sounds so boring, or stupid! Maybe it's because I hate talking about myself too much. I've always felt better at listening to others, rather than talking about myself. Though, I guess that could be a redeeming quality, but it's makes blogging rather difficult.

Well, now that I've complained that I have nothing to say, I'll jump right into complaining about my life... yet again. Ha.

So, I've scheduled this cruise for March, as a birthday present for my boyfriend, Aaron, and all was looking good until about two months ago. I brought it up to him in conversation one day, explaining that I needed to look into the price of airfare soon, if I didn't want to pay an arm and a leg, and he promptly responded with 'well, I dunno'. WELL I DUNNO?! What do you mean 'well I dunno'?! I asked him specifically if he was serious about me booking a cruise for us. He said yes! Now that we're mere months away you're going to back out on me?! It's for your birthday for crying out loud! Ugh! I mean, his reasoning is pretty good, per usual, but it really doesn't make me feel better about it, ya know. It's gotta be one of the worst things in the world to have someone say, "Yes I want to go with you on this nonrefundable vacation", just to say later that they aren't sure they could, or should. The only good thing to come out of this, I suppose, is that I have a couple backups (lovely backups that I would take on a cruise without thinking twice about it) that would love to come with me, if, by chance, Aaron does fully back out. (Mind, I didn't know what I was gonna do, if he did, until about a week ago.) Regardless, I'm pretty bummed that he's thinking now that he might not come with me, I was so looking forward to this trip being more than reasonably expected. I wanted this to be a turning point, so much for that. Thanks buddy! Blegh.

Got a text message from an old 'friend' the other day. Interesting, random, and bringing back a lot of mixed emotions. I'll fill you in on whether anything becomes of it. However, I'm not sure I'm prepared for an onslaught quite yet. Wish me luck should one come about sooner than expected.

Work sucked today, btw. It was one of those days were everyone's upset about some little thing, and you are the "only person in the world who can change it", but of course, you "won't". Ugh. I swear, if I get yelled at about something that is completely out of my control, or absolutely not my fault, again, I'm gonna throw something across the room. Truth is, I hate these calls the most, because I usually loose a my temper just enough to have the attitude leak through my voice, and that of course just makes the person more upset because I'm "rude".  I mean, c'mon man, you try walking to work and having someone scream at you that they're not getting documents in the mail anymore, and heaven forbid you should have to get on the computer to get information! For heaven's sake, you haven't been able to get your boarding pass anywhere but our website for like two years, how much harder could it be to read the rest of the info on there too?! Sorry. I hate raging about this, cause it makes me feel mean and ungrateful. Honestly, I don't mind my job at all, I kind of like it, in fact. It's just that there's always those people who ruin it and make me want to do something other than customer service. However, I know that no matter what I do, there's going to be those days when someone is on edge, and it's going to frustrate and upset me. *Lord help me get through crazy work days, you and I both know they suck.*

So, now that this blog has gone from nothing, to ranting and raging about more nothingness, I'm going to sigh off. My bed awaits a sleepy body, and I no longer have the strength to deny it.

Hopefully I'll actually write in here more often and less grumpily (yeah, I don't think that's a word, but my computer doesn't seem to deny it, sweet). Goodnight.


~And to steal an idea from Hayley G. Hoover (because everything she does is amazing):~
Sexy: My playlist consisting of The Myraid, Paramore, Mute Math, Loudermilk and Julia Nunes! :D
Unsexy: See my freaking blog entry, the whole day was unsexy!



Movies/TV shows watched today: The History Channel's: Salem Witch Trials and Justin Hunt's: American Meth

One of the best things in my life, I think, is the fact that my dad lives two hours away. Not because this reduces the amount of time I get to see him, but because it means when we drive over together we get two hours to just chat and catch up. Don't get me wrong, I would love my dad to live closer. It would mean I get to see him more often. But then, I feel that making the effort to come over is much more special and even relaxing than just being able to pop in whenever. I took two extra days off so I could have four days to spend with my family. :) Today is day one, and I slept until almost 11, and now I'm curled up on my dad's couch with my computer and a blanket. Doesn't get more comfortable than this. :)

Later this evening my sister, brother in law and nieces are coming over as well. The girls love their Papa so much, it's pretty adorable. Plus, who doesn't love hanging out with a couple of adorable little girls?!

Aaron and I had a pretty upsetting conversation the other day, but since then we've been really great. I don't know exactly how things like that happen (the fighting or the unspoken apologies). All I know for sure is that when we finally get married, we'll be fine. He really, truly is my best friend, and it definitely shows when we fight. Ha.



I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.
Psalm 31:7

 

The last few days have been pretty great. I'm still having a hard time believing that things can go so well.

I'm not in my first week of college, or my last, first week of college. I'm not getting married, I'm not having a baby, and I'm not starting a new life. But I am finally enjoying my life.

My last two days at work I managed to get early outs (which basically just means I got to go home early because we were super slow). The unusual thing about going home early the last two days wasn't the fact that it's uncommon to get early outs two work days in a row. Or even that I got an early out when I put in for it the same morning. But the fact that I didn't act as reclusive as normal.

Aaron had invited me over on Saturday, and of course I accepted, but when I got out of work hours before expected, and he was working until 6pm, I had no choice but find something to fill my time. My first idea was to just go to Barnes & Noble and find a few good books to read the time away. However, when I arrived at Northgate Mall two things went through my head. First, I did NOT want to walk to the other side of the mall, get all comfy and just have to get up an hour later and walk all the way back. And second, I really needed a pair of waterproof tennis shoes (I live in Seattle, for goodness sake).  So instead of curling up and doing what I would choose to do 9 out of 10 chances, I braved the busy (well not really busy), florescent lit halls that are the Northgate Mall.

I started my shopping experience in Macy's. I normally don't shop there due to the fact that their pricing is pretty high and I don't really know my way around the one at Northgate. But, I braved the unknown and found my way, eventually, to the intimate apparel section to look for that all needed new bra. I ended up finding two and some other under garments as well.

Feeling pretty good about myself, and Macy's, I headed over to their shoe department in search of those much needed tennies. I walked between tables of high heeled, strappy, clunky and otherwise unattractive shoes only to discover my original opinion of Macy's held true. Everything was overpriced and underwhelming. So with a bit of my hope dashed I ventured back out to the spacious halls of the mall.

I don't know Northgate Mall well, so I just headed off in one direction, did a couple circles, walked up and down a few halls, and downright almost got myself lost, before I found what I was looking for. And then, the Sketchers store was just there, shining with it's white fixtures and brightly dressed employees. Now, I'm not really the type to shop at a store marketed to a specific brand, and I also haven't seen a female pair of Sketchers that I found attractive since middle school, but something drew me in. Aaron just recently purchased a pair of Sketchers and I was hoping that I could find something I actually liked, even though I really wanted his shoes, in my size. But I took a few walks around and finally decided on a pair of simple black shoes, with just the slightest girlish touch.

With my spirits re-lifted I headed back out to the park and ride to kill sometime before I had to catch the bus to meet Aaron. While cutting through JC Penney I stopped at a table displaying a fairly attractive pair of jeans, and couldn't keep myself from trying them on. Normally I HATE trying on clothing, but I was a little excited this time. So I grabbed a pair off the table, and went to try them on. Only to find they fit perfectly and also happened to be a size smaller than I normally wear. And to top it all off, I got to spend the rest of the night with Aaron. It was great.

Then of course there was yesterday. Got off 3 hours early again and spent the rest of the day with Jessica, walking around Downtown, having dinner at Pacific Place, and then heading up north for a movie at the new Cinebarre. It was pretty cool. We went and saw All About Steve, which was cute and kind of funny. A good girls night type of movie. Afterwards we spent the ride home talking about how they could improve the feel of the bar, and all sorts of other unimportant things.

All in all the last few days have been relaxingly eventful.

Things I've seen today:

1. Two squirels carrying large pine cones.
2. 4 crows
3. Two cop cars in a big hurry.
4. My breath. (I think summer is officially over)

A Few of My Favorite Things

So I was at work today, looking around my desk and thinking to myself, what the heck am I gonna blog about tonight. The best thing I could think of was this... a photo blog.

Here are a few of my favorite things:

Favorite beardless photo of Aaron:


Favorite bearded, semi-candid photo of Aaron:



Favorite Canadian candy/mint:



Favorite work pass-times:



Favorite $3.50 spent on a bake sale:



Favorite Chap Stick types (the name brand of course):



Favorite Bath & Body Works product:



Favorite inconspicuous trash can:



Favorite things made for me by work friends:



A few of my favorite books:



Favorite picture of Christian Bale:



Favorite 'Beardicide' picture taken on my camera:



Favorite glimpse of my future:



Favorite (non-relative) photo of a child:



Favorite lazy day beach:



Favorite picture ever taken while wishing I were somewhere else:

Love, Me

I walked home slowly today, pondering life, and reality. Somehow riding that particular bus makes this life feel more like my own. Maybe it's the size, or the comfort of the seats, or the fact that I can recline more easily. Whatever the case, it's mine.
I walked, watching the trees go by and imagining what the world looked like before we tore up its roots and planted our own molten soil. Looking up into the fading light and feeling the warmth sooth my soul.
My mind is like the earth, revolving. No matter if I wanted to stop it, it always returns to you.
Casually walking, I think to myself how comfortable I am. Nothing in this life is wrong, least of all you. Daily I see myself coming home. Not to the house I currently occupy, but to an unknown, familiar place. These are my dreams, both day and night.



Today was a pretty uneventful day. I went to work, came home and have spent the last hour or so trying to be creative (see above). It's alright, I just lose my flow after a bit, I think I've finally learned to let it go when I can't make it sound right anymore though. That's good.

I'm so unbelievably tired. Not exactly physically tired, but more just burned out, almost. I've been so busy doing so many different things lately, I feel like I don't have time to relax. But as much as I've been saying that for the past few days, I'm not slowing down. Tomorrow only marks the umpteenth time I should be staying home and relaxing, but am instead going to be social. I can't help but get caught up in the moment, and then wish I had said "maybe" instead of "oh heck yes, I'll be there!". I don't feel like I can back out of things anymore. So, I'm going.

I'm not upset that I'm going out tomorrow night, just wondering when I'm going to get to all those things I need to do done. Like giving the dog a bath, and doing some laundry (which better freaking be done tonight... I need to do that now... done). But you get the picture, right? Busy busy busy!! :P

Speaking of which I need to get to bed, I gotta get up for work in the morning.. oh my life, so full of stuffs! :)

NIGHT!

Enter witty title here.

So, that party last night, turned out to be just Leach, Rich, Jeremy, Aaron and I. Not nearly as huge and raging as I thought it would be. Which sucks a little for Leach, but it made the setting a lot more comfortable.

Basically, it wasn't all bad!

Warning: Sap ahead!

Spending time with Aaron keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. Its not that he does anything particularly cute or anything, its just the fact he's around, I think. I told him last night that I love him now more than I did 3 weeks ago. He asked me why. Its because I've seen him so much, and I remember that I like him, a lot, which proves to me that I love him, not just the thought of him. Semi-big breakthrough for me. Mostly because I worry sometimes if my love for him is real or not. It is.

/sap

I stayed up way too late last night, and now I'm super tired and on my way to work. I wanted so desperately to crawl back in bed and call out today, but I held back. I concluded to suck it up and drink a lot of coffee. Maybe my friend Skyler can keep me awake, hopefully.

Gotta catch the bus! Later!

It's 9:07pm and I have work tomorrow. Normally I'd be crawling into bed to watch an episode or two of Doctor Who before passing out. But, alas, not tonight. I am instead raging through my poor excuse of a wardrobe trying to find something to wear to my friends 24 birthday party. And when I say poor, I mean like, really really poor. I have absolutely NO attractive clothing worth wearing to a birthday party, even if the birthday party is being held at my friends bachelor pad of an apartment. I'm seriously freaking out right now. Why do I suck so much at shopping for cute clothing? Ugh!

I wasn't even gonna go to this party. All day I've just felt like coming home, snuggling up in a blanket and watching a movie with Aaron. Instead I'm being dragged, giftless, to a birthday party that's only going to be full of drunk people that I don't know, and probably wouldn't like even if I did. Then again, maybe I'm just being pessimistic... probably not.


I have been ridiculously spoiled by Aaron this week though. He texted me randomly at work on Tuesday to come over and help him shave his beard (see previous post for dramatic transformation), which is not normal. Then he pre-planned a couples night with the Weifords on Wednesday (Wednesday with the Weifords, that's got a ring to it), and now I'm going to see him again tonight. If I didn't relish every second I spent with Aaron, then I probably wouldn't be going to that party tonight, especially considering I then have to wake myself up in the morning for work. At least tomorrow is my "Friday".

Things have been too good with Aaron lately. I keep waiting for them to get crappy again. Our relationship seems to just work that way. We'll be really, ridiculously, happy and cute, then he'll just get super busy and be gone a lot, and I get all depressed and feel rejected. Then he'll come back from whatever world it is he lives in half the time and be all cute and just the right amount of clingy again. It's a weird cycle, but I guess it works for us (though we all know I like the 'just-the-right-amount-of-clingy' more than the 'am-I-gonna-see-you-again-in-my-lifetime?').

I can't help thinking about marrying him, but it's always stronger when we hang out with the Weifords. It's like I see my future walking around in front of me, but I can't keep it. I can't stay in the future, I have to endure the present first. It's frustrating, to say the least, but I've got to let it go, I've got to let him work it out for himself. No matter what I say, he's gonna take his time to get to the place I'm in (and he's always late, let me tell you what).

It's not that I'm looking forward to the wedding, and the honeymoon, and the flowers, dresses, vows, flower girl, gifts, people, wedding, church, etc. It's that I can't wait for the mundane everyday. The coming home to him at night, and waking up with him each morning. It's the planning a family and watching our children grow. The getting old and still holding hands. Maybe even the matching sweat suits, who knows. I just can't see myself married to anyone else. I can't see myself loving anyone else. I'm 22 years old, I've got plenty of life left, but this, this marriage thing, tugs at my heart and mind daily. It's irrepressible. I can't walk down the street, or ride the bus, or work, or move, or breath without somehow connecting it to him. And just thinking about him makes me think about how happy he makes me, and how much I want to be that happy everyday. BLEGH! Shut up, Laura!

Any way, I'm supposed to be leaving in 20 minutes and I still don't have real clothes on. Maybe I'll just wear my p.j.s, you think that would be acceptable? Didn't think so. Gah. Alright, I'm gonna dredge something up out of my closet. Hopefully this is worth it.

Wow, it's only 4:36 in the afternoon and I'm already pooped!

My sister came over this morning with her two girls and a friend of theirs and we played at my grandma's, their 'Nana's' house for a few hours then went back home. There wasn't anything in particular that made me tired, it's just something about spending time with three children under the age of 7 that wears you out after a while. (Probably doesn't help that I was up till 1am this morning.)

I had good reason to be up so late, however. See, my boyfriend has been growing a beard on and off for the last 3 years. Needless to say it was about 8-10 inches long and extremely bushy. Well, he had a talk with one of his managers about a month ago about it and was advised that one of the regional managers felt it was too long and inappropriate for work. So, he was given a choice, trim the beard, or get rid of it entirely. He decided that if he had to get rid of it, he was gonna do it all the way. So, we spent an hour or so shaving off the beard.

Let me show you the dramatic transformation...


He went from this:


To this:
So, yeah, BIG difference. I told him after it was gone that he looked like a different person. And he does, sort of. It's just that I haven't seen him without facial hair for at least 5 years, and he's had the full beard for 3. It's just that he grew up while he had the beard and he doesn't look like a little boy anymore. Even without the facial hair he looks like a man. I like it a lot, I just have to get used to it. I sent him a really sappy sweet text last night explaining why I was acting weird on the way home after he shaved it off. But I'll spare you the girly details.

Any way, now I'm waiting around for him to get here so that we can go have dinner with some friends. Ah, what a busy day off. Well at least I'm loved, yeah?! Mhmm!